The world walks too quickly
into another distance
leaving us the same and sickly.
The world walks too quickly,
gliding smartly, slickly.
To spite our resistance--
the world walks too quickly
into another distance.
* * *
The summer orchestrates her last farewell,
full strings and percussion amongst the stems.
Through evening sun's long golden spell,
the summer orchestrates her last farewell.
In frenetic play, barefoot children repel
the almost frost that seeps inside their hems.
The summer orchestrates her last farewell,
full strings and percussion amongst the stems.
* * *
A pond goes nowhere.
A river, though,
could wend anywhere!
A pond goes nowhere,
just a blank sky stare.
Rivers flow!
A pond goes nowhere.
A river, though . . .
I enjoy these! It's very difficult to use the repeated words/lines in poetry to good effect, but you seem to have a good ear for it, here and in the villanelles you have written. I especially like the imagery of the summer poem.
ReplyDeleteEchoing Dr Impson's praise, I'd add that there's a marvellous concision to these poems. (Well, a form of 8 lines does compel one to concentrate, but even a triolet can have filler.) There are few lines here, if any, that seem "padded." There's an almost Japanese concision and beauty-of-simplicity in the pond/river triolet. I like them all--nay, admire them all immensely! Brava!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dr. Impson and Thomas! It was fun to try something new. Repetition plays an important role in our lives (physically/emotionally/spiritually), doesn't it? I think about rhythms of sleeping and waking, the comfort of a family meal at an established time, and the sacraments the Lord tells us to celebrate. It's everywhere. But even though repetition can be so meaningful, it can also be contrived. I know there are ways to get the meaningfulness of it into poetry, but I don't feel I've really managed that for myself, yet. The whole "making the form fit the sense" idea still slips out of reach. (Also, I'm intrigued by the possibility that some of these more repetitive forms could explore issues of memory and meaning as experienced by someone with dementia.)
ReplyDeleteI did enjoy these poems--especially the pond/river one--I just feel sort of irritated because I know there's more to be said and I can't seem find or express it right now.
Or, maybe I just need the trust and humility to enjoy trying something out without having to make a terribly profound statement.
ReplyDeleteYes, this is a good place to be. Yet I think you reach depth more than you realize, simply in your underneath-it-all understanding that the physical world you describe carries within it the transcendence of its Creator.
DeleteI really like the pond and river one too! I thought that you may have boxed yourself in with those 2nd and 3rd lines, but just letting the 2nd line finish the story at the end (with the ...) works great.
ReplyDeleteI really liked them all. Today, the summer's farewell speaks to me as I think of the drying bean vines with the wind blowing gently through them along with the cacophony of locusts, crickets, and birds calling as a door shuts. I'm just not at all ready for the frosty coolness, but I know it's coming. Thank you, Elena.
ReplyDeleteAunt Mary
I think I see here one of the sources of Elena's remarkable ability to see . . .
DeleteThanks, Michael! Yes, those lovely ellipses give endless possibilities :)
ReplyDeleteOh, Aunt Mary, I love your description! Thanks for the lovely comment. I noticed today that a few tree leaves are even turning yellow.
ReplyDelete