Sometimes it appears Christianity does not work:
we are Peters lopping off ears and later denying.
We are widows persistently wailing, receiving neither
justice nor husbands nor sons back from the dead.
Each day appears to mark yet another failure of love.
We abandon; we are abandoned.
In these Holy Saturday moments,
our minds sort the spices of sorrow--
acidity of anger, pungence of regret,
sweetness of summer remembered--
as all the difference in the world
lies buried in the ground.
we are Peters lopping off ears and later denying.
We are widows persistently wailing, receiving neither
justice nor husbands nor sons back from the dead.
Each day appears to mark yet another failure of love.
We abandon; we are abandoned.
In these Holy Saturday moments,
our minds sort the spices of sorrow--
acidity of anger, pungence of regret,
sweetness of summer remembered--
as all the difference in the world
lies buried in the ground.
Even -- or especially -- when they are the product of struggle, how vital and how necessary your words and your thoughts are to us, your readers.
ReplyDeleteWe are told that the Lord delights in bringing spring out of the harshest winter, life out of aged and barren wombs, water (or even sweet honey!) from the rock, that he vivifies the stinking corpse of Lazarus, that he can turn water intended for the lowly office of washing into the finest wine. We are told that our blessed Lord turned his own crucifixion into resurrection. And yet, there are those days -- which can last for years! -- where the rumours of resurrection seem to be precisely that: rumour, and nothing more.
To turn to poetic technique for a moment! I cherish the metaphor of "spices of sorrow"! I cherish the terse parallel of "we abandon; we are abandoned." I of course cherish the last two lines (and their near-rhyme, to my ear).
In lines 3 and 4 of the poem -- and here I hope to propose, not to impose! -- I wonder if "nor husbands nor sons" could be altered to "nor loved ones" for the sake of having a single "nor" following a single "neither." You could then place a period after "failure" in line 5, omitting the words "of love." You might even write:
Each day appears to mark yet another failure,
yet another disappointment, yet another wreckage of hope.
Again, suggestions which you are perfectly free to veto! I hope that these suggestions are not culpably "bold"!
Your theme in this poem is dear to me; and, as it stands, it is a beautifully accomplished lyric.
Thank you, Thomas! And I am glad that you offer suggestions--they are certainly not too bold! I wondered a bit about using "nor" multiple times, and will consider your kind suggestions.
DeleteSuch a true poem, Elena. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Beth!
Delete