I am miles from tranquility--
young enough to feel
the almost adolescent angst
still lurking in my bones,
to sense shivers of rage
when things just don't seem right,
to run from a forest of fears.
But I am old enough to recall
grace after grace--kind
soul sustenance about the roots
of bright or darkling days.
I've seen the universe pierced
with point upon point of light.
young enough to feel
the almost adolescent angst
still lurking in my bones,
to sense shivers of rage
when things just don't seem right,
to run from a forest of fears.
But I am old enough to recall
grace after grace--kind
soul sustenance about the roots
of bright or darkling days.
I've seen the universe pierced
with point upon point of light.
When I first read this I took that first line as you present condition - what you were feeling today. But as I read it over a few times, I think it is more a statement of where you are in your life course, on the way to tranquility. i hope you are in one of those rays of light tonight.
ReplyDeleteYou've got it now, Newell :) And thank you for the kind wishes. I'm enjoying some lovely rays of light.
DeleteA potent poem, well-wrought and economical in its expression. I'm letting its sounds work on me, meditating on it more deeply.
ReplyDeleteI notice that all the poem's lines (save the first) end in a strong stress; in fact, 11 of the 13 end-words are monosyllables, usually Saxon or Germanic! Perhaps coincidence, but likelier your fine intuitive technique, conveying fear in the first stanza and strength in the second.
If I had any qualm as a reader, it's that the metaphors "forest of fears" and "points of light" seem to have travelled somewhat from poet to poet, and from poem to poem, and do not perhaps have the impact of newer, less familiar tropes. But I do admire this poem. Its conscious and instinctive artistry, as with everything you write, is a very great asset.
Thanks, Thomas! I really appreciate how this comment helps me see my poem in new ways--especially regarding word choice and imagery that has grown worn with use!
Delete